DEAR RANJ: A couple of months ago, I got a call from an ex-boyfriend's lawyer. He told me that my ex had passed away. He said that I'd been left something in "Kevin's" will, and told me the date, time and place where the will would be read. My sister and I went to the reading. I was shocked to learn that Kevin had left me a ring that had been in his family for a couple generations. At the reading, I also found out that he had married and had two sons and a daughter. The problem I had was that Kevin and I dated back when I was 21 and immature. I am 34 now. I knew at the time that Kevin had fallen in love with me, but I did not feel the same about him. I let him know my true feelings and our relationship did not end well. I don't deserve this ring. I talked it over with my sister and my mother. My sister thinks I should keep it because Kevin wanted me to have it. My mother thinks I should give the ring to Kevin's wife. The problem with Kevin's wife is that she was very upset that he left me the ring in the first place. What do you think I should do with this ring, Ranj? And if I do decide to give Kevin's wife the ring, what is the best way I could do it without upsetting her? -- INELIGIBLE IN PITTSBURG
DEAR INELIGIBLE: You must have made a pretty good impression on your ex-boyfriend for him to leave you a family heirloom. It's obvious that he always had deep feelings for you that never faded. Because the ring gives you a feeling of guilt instead of happiness, it is probably best if it remains with Kevin's family. Considering that his wife has some resentment she probably doesn't want the ring. However, it would be a nice gesture to offer it back to a family member, because it is family heirloom. Depending on the age of his daughter, she might like to have it to pass on to her daughter. You could just pawn it and keep the money but, that would be selfish and most likely be bad karma. Your best option would be to give it back to the family.
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