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Hi Ranj, I’m a single girl that happens to be best friends with a guy. I share everything with “Eric”. He lives down the street and we’ve been good friends ever since community college (5 years ago). I can tell him my deepest, darkest secrets without fear of being judged. He is the first person I call when I have a bad day. I have fallen completely and totally in love with him. What happens when I realize that my best friend isn't just my best friend? What happens when I realize that it's love?

The problem is that Eric has a girlfriend and she is absolutely beautiful. He’s been seeing her for a few months now, and I will admit that I am very jealous. I can’t say anything bad about her because she seems perfect. It’s just that I’ve been friends with Eric for much longer and I feel that I deserve to be with him.

Ranj, I’m in love with Eric and I know he loves me too. How can I let him know how I feel without sacrificing our friendship? What should I do about this situation? –Deserving in Reading, PA

Hey Deserving, your situation sounds like a one of the romantic comedy from the 80’s. Unfortunately, in the real world the “deserving” person doesn’t always get the” love of their life”. Everyone has wanted someone that they couldn’t have. In your case, you just happen to have fallen in love. You should have taken your opportunity when you had it. If Eric has only been with his girlfriend for a few months, why didn’t you chase him when he was single? I think it’s because you know, as well as I do, that he really isn’t that into you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if Eric had an interest in you as a girlfriend, he would have made a move within the past 5 years you’ve been friends. You don’t have to tell him how you feel, because unless he is a total idiot, he already knows. Guys know when they are liked. We just play stupid, because most of us don’t like being mean and having to reject those that we’re not interested in. So, to save yourself some aggravation and heartache, I’ll let you know, Eric only wants to be friends with you. Your best option to find love is to find it somewhere else, because if there was a real spark, Eric would be dating you instead of his present girlfriend. So save face and save your friendship by, letting him go and just be happy for him. I’m sure Eric loves you, but I’m guessing he loves you like a sister more than like a girlfriend.

If you think that I’m wrong about Eric’s feelings, and I may be, than carefully consider what your risking if you do let him know how you feel. Remember Eric has a girlfriend and even you said that she is perfect so, don’t be so selfish and let them be happy together. If they break up for some reason, the circumstances will be different.

My advice to you is to consider pursuing someone else besides Eric. Remain friends with him and realize that it may be all you’ll ever be. If things between you change, let that change happen when you are both single. Consider Eric’s girlfriend and how unfair it would be to her if Eric was to leave her for you. You had your chance and missed it so, now you have to live with that and move on. No matter what you decide to do, always be careful with your heart.