I wish I was a little bit fatter
Hey Ranj: I have been dating the same guy for about 10 months. We get along well, laugh a lot, have the same outlook, similar goals. He says I'm his best friend.
My problem? I'm not his "type." I'm a petite blonde. He prefers chunkier women with dark hair. He says if there was one thing he could change about me, it would be for me to gain about 20 pounds. (I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 105.)
He has become "confused" a few times during the relationship, and the last time he said he needed to decide which was more important, someone he's connected with or someone who is his type. The sex is good but not earth-shattering, because my physical attributes don't do it for him. He doesn't want to rip off my clothes each time he sees me, and I thrive on that kind of lust.
He keeps coming back, and I feel like a jerk for allowing him to stay each
time. I love him, but I'm unclear whether I'm selling myself short and if I
deserve someone who loves me the way I am. I'm afraid if he stays with me,
eventually he will want his type and leave. He's 35; I'm 28. What should I do?
-- Short and selling myself short in Washington D.C.
Hey Short: You stated that you love him; but does he love you? If he truly loves you he should be able to look beyond the physical desires for his type. Many men have their ideal type and often they end up in love with a girl that doesn't fit that ideal type. I personally have a preference for slightly chunky brunettes too, but that doesn't limit me to only dating that particular type of woman. I've found happiness with several different types of women. I love them all. I think your boy is satisfied with you but like most men they often strive for their ideal. However, depending on his values on fidelity, I can't determine weather he will stray or stay. Personally, if a good guy makes any sort of committment to a woman, then he stays with that woman. However, if the excitement fades and another opportunity comes along, some men will take that opportunity and leave their present girlfriend for the ideal woman. If he's been faithful for ten months then I give him the benefit of the doubt that he is content and happy to stay with you.
On the other hand, it seems to me that you might not be totally content and satisfied with him. Sexual satisfaction from both sides or the relationship, does play an important role in many happy and healthy relationships. My advice is to give the guy a chance. At least he was honest about what he wants. I know many guys that won't let their girlfriends know what their type is. If after another couple months you still have doubts about his fidelity or about your own desires then, reconsider your dating options before a real binding commitment like a child or marriage come into play.
Categories: sex,advice,relationships,Hey Ranj
Tags: sex advice relationship types preferences
Lose him like a bad habit! I'm serious. Confused he was? Help him figure it out. Sex is supposed to feel good to both people and if you don't feel hot it won't be fun. That makes HIM an unsatisfactory lover. If you wanted to, I suppose you could gain 20 lbs and dye your hair a striking dark color, but I don't think he deserves it. There are plenty of guys who like your type and will make you feel good. Set your standards for treatment and stick to them. Accept nothing less. You can still be best friends...without benefits. Tell him he's not your type. You are only hot for a guy who is not an idiot.
Reply to this
Interesting,
Be proud of what you look like, he should love you for what you are,
Dont change for him, be happy for what you are not for what he wants you to be,
Thanks for writing about it
Reply to this