ranjbrown.com

Hey Ranj: I am 28 and am engaged to a man I have been with since I was 18. We have lived together for more than five years and have accumulated lots of furniture and household items. I'm beginning to think he is not the right man for me, but fear it will be difficult to leave him. His parents gave us most of our stuff, and I'm afraid if I leave him he will feel he has the right to keep everything they gave us.

I am also having an affair with a married man I work with. He says he loves me but won't leave his wife. In the meantime, I don't want to hurt my fiance, but don't know what to do. Should I tell him the truth about my relationship with the married man? What about the furniture? Does he get to keep it? -- Confused in Baltimore, MD 

Hey Confused: You have to tell your fiance the truth. Now, after ten years you've decided he might not be right? I feel bad for him. He's the innocent party in the situation. He does absolutely have the right to keep everything his parents gave to you. If you seriously feel that he is not the right man for you then you should start putting away some money and leave him. It's not fair to lead him on any longer. He probably assumes that you two will be together for life. As for the affair, don't be a homewrecker. The married guy may love you, but he is married to his wife and she earned his love before you came around. So, you have to either give your love to your fiance or find another man that is NOT married.