Ranj's Blog: I'm still angry

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I'm still angry

Hey Ranj, A few days ago, "Jenna," my girlfriend of 4 years, told me she wanted to break up. Then we got into a serious fight and I lost my temper big time. I never hit her, but I did throw some things. She got really scared because I used to black out when I got that mad. It's the first time in the relationship years that I was ever that mad.

Jenna went to stay with her mom because she said she was afraid of me. We have since talked a little, and she says she still cares about me. We both said a lot of things we didn't mean, and I don't know how to explain myself.

I have since started seeing a counselor to control my temper. But Jenna is giving me mixed signals about what she wants. This is making me severely depressed and I don't know what to do. Can you please help me? I love her more than anything in the world. -- Totally Depressed in Netcong, NJ

Hey Totally Depressed, It takes a big man to admit that he has a problem and to recognize that he has to takes steps to do something about it. I commend you for getting counseling for you anger management issue.

Sometimes, two people who love each other to bring out the worst in each other rather than the best. I hate to tell you this, but when a longtime girlfriend says she wants to break up, and then follows it up by saying she "cares about you" rather than " I love you", there is and indication that the romance is usually over.Before trying to pursue this woman any further, you should discuss the entire situation with your counselor and see what he/she has to say about the situation. The counselor knows much more about you and the situation then I do, therefore they are more qualified to give you better advice then I can. There are some uncertainties that I don't know about. Such as: is there another man?, why did she want to break up?, did you do something wrong or is it just the anger issue?. My advice to you is to give up and find another woman. She seems to have moved on from you and only trusts you as a friend. Like I said, I don't know the details of the story so seek advice from your anger management counselor and ask them what you should do. Good luck. BTW, don't get hung up and depressed over a girl because its a waste of time and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Posted by Randall at 4/21/2009 9:26 AM