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Hey Ranj, My boyfriend was sentenced to 5 years and is presently incarcerated. He doesn't get released until April 2011. I visit him every so often and I still love him but to be honest I've met someone else that I am falling for. Are there standard rules that apply to my situation? Is it cheating if I continue to see this other guy? Am I expected to wait for my boyfriend to be released. Suppose all this waiting is for nothing and he finds someone else when he gets out. That would mean I've wasted 5 years of my life waiting for someone for nothing. Please help me because I feel like I'm the one that's imprisoned. -Lonely in Hagerstown, MD.  

 

Hey Lonely, You are in a tough situation. You should have to suffer from loneliness because your boyfriend messed up; however, the right thing to do would be to wait for his release. I guess it all depends on how strong your relationship was before he went in. If you feel threatened that he may leave you then that indicates to me that you don't trust him very well. If that is the case then really you shouldn't be forced to wait for him. On the other hand if you had plans of a life together then you should stand by your man. I guess I can't answer this question fairly because I don't know how strong your relationship was. I don't know if there is a standard rule that applies and if there is I'm sure that there is a stipulation when it comes to the time period. If a guy is locked up for a decade, then of course he shouldn't expect his girlfriend to wait (unless there are children involved). You've really stumped me with this but my advice would be to communicate with him and ask him what you expect to do. If you have children then you should just wait a few more years for his release; however, if you don't have children then I'm sure he can manage to find someone else when he is released. BTW, you should check if he has posted his profile on HotPrisonPals.com because if he has then that is a green light for you to move on with this other guy. Good Luck.