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Hey Ranj: I am a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom with three kids. Two are my fiance "Scott's"; the youngest is ours together. Scott and I have been together almost six years.

I need help. I have a problem. I am a very depressed person and to cure my depression I shop. I shop excessively and spend way too much -- sometimes all of our money -- and I don't know how to stop. Shopping makes me feel better about myself, and when I'm depressed (which is often), I go out shopping for stuff I don't even need. I have even started shopping online for stuff. I feel happy at first but then after realizing how much money I've spent I end up feeling horrible. Scott and I have tried separate bank accounts, but when I'd run low I would just tap into his or use credit cards which he ultimately ends up paying for. Please help me. I don't know what to do. -- SHOP-A-HOLIC IN HAVERFORD, PA.

 

Hey SHOP-A-HOLIC: Just stop shopping. Take inventory of what you have and what you don't. The only things you should be shopping for right now are necessities. You are substituting purchases for something else that's missing in your life. Get a hobby that takes up your time. Get involved with something that your children enjoy. Trying to cure your long-term depression by going on a shopping spree is like taking an Aspirin for a broken arm. You can't just subside this depression you have to treat it so you can maybe rid yourself of it. 

Use the money you blow on shopping for a visit to see your physician who can give you medication to lift the depression, perhaps if the depression is severe you should talk to a therapist or get counseling for your underlying problem. You cannot treat this alone and doing it by shopping is just going to put your boyfriend into debt and could cause problems within the household. Please get some medical help. Pharmaceutical companies have made strides in medications to treat depression. See which one works best for you.