ranjbrown.com

I had a good time last night at the Philly zombie crawl.

Today is Easter and because my family is a 5 hour drive away, I have to spend without them. Therefore, to celebrate the resurrection of your lord and savior Jesus Christ, I've decided to go to the Philly Zombie Crawl. It will be good to not spend Easter alone.Instead spend it with others celebrating the rise of the most famous zombie, Jesus. So, in preparation I have to make a little more fake blood and rip some clothes in preparation for the crawl.

I Beat the deadline.

Hey Ranj: I am 28 and am engaged to a man I have been with since I was 18. We have lived together for more than five years and have accumulated lots of furniture and household items. I'm beginning to think he is not the right man for me, but fear it will be difficult to leave him. His parents gave us most of our stuff, and I'm afraid if I leave him he will feel he has the right to keep everything they gave us.

 

I am also having an affair with a married man I work with. He says he loves me but won't leave his wife. In the meantime, I don't want to hurt my fiance, but don't know what to do. Should I tell him the truth about my relationship with the married man? What about the furniture? Does he get to keep it? -- Confused in Baltimore, MD 

 

Hey Confused: You have to tell your fiance the truth. Now, after ten years you've decided he might not be right? I feel bad for him. He's the innocent party in the situation. He does absolutely have the right to keep everything his parents gave to you. If you seriously feel that he is not the right man for you then you should start putting away some money and leave him. It's not fair to lead him on any longer. He probably assumes that you two will be together for life. As for the affair, don't be a homewrecker. The married guy may love you, but he is married to his wife and she earned his love before you came around. So, you have to either give your love to your fiance or find another man that is NOT married.

So, I've been busy mentally preparing for the Big Brother 11 Casting Call. I've never seen the show. Well actually I've, seen one episode a few years ago in which a middle aged roofer dyed his hair purple. Anyway, I'm gonna see if I can get on the show. Check out these awesome pictures of waves from Clark Little.

The Most Beautiful Waves ......Ever

Hey Ranj, I desperately need your help. I'm a squatter in Philadelphia. I'm from Missouri, but when my super Christian parents disowned me because of a pagan tattoo in 2005 I've been living on the streets. I'm presently using the computer at the library to write this to you. This is a cry for help. I have a high school diploma but no college education. When I was in MO, I use to do construction/carpentry for a friend of my father. However, after my father disowned me I was fired. I do smoke crack and I realize this is not helping me get out of my problem. Crack is the only enjoyment I find in life. I eat from dumpsters and I sleep in abandoned buildings. I don't want to be homeless anymore and I want to get my life back together but with no address, phone, or money it's impossible for me to rise above. I'm 26 years old and I'm in good physical shape. I'm not an idiot but I do make stupid mistakes which I later regret. There was a guy that was nice enough to let me stay on occasions at his apartment and shower at his place. However, the last time I stayed I left in the middle of the night and stole a few things of his so I could buy some crack. What is a crack-addicted, homeless, guy suppose to do. During the winter months I hop on a freight train and go South. This summer I would like to find a home so I don't have to go South. Could you point me in the right direction and give me some advice of how I can get my life together? - Trying to survive in Philadelphia.

 

Hey Trying, The first and hardest thing you MUST do is to beat your crack addiction. I know this is very difficult to do but the best thing is to get away from it. Go someplace where it is not available. I've personally seen crack destroy lives; however, I've seen people rise above their addictions and live fulfilling lives. Just by you showing the initiative to write and seek advice shows me that you CAN and WILL beat the drug. I do believe that there are homeless shelters for drug abusers. If you truly want to get your life together, use the library computer to find one of these shelters. If you can't find any organization to help you out then you have to beat the drug on your own. One thing you do have is access to an online computer and a valid email address. This can serve you better than you may know. The money you get from begging should be conserved and not spent on crack. I'm positive you can find food to survive (you done it this long) and you're a squatter so you don't have any bills. So, the money you get, save it. Go to the Salvation Army on 22nd and JFK and wait for donations in the back. From those donations find some decent clothes. This may take a few days to a week but, I know for a fact that people (like me) drop off clothes in the back. After you've collected 2-3 outfits you can act like a couch surfer and find people to take you in and get a regular showers (www.couchsurfing.com). DO NOT STEAL FROM THESE PEOPLE! If you do these things as I instructed you have a chance to get out of your predicament:  

 

1. QUIT SMOKING CRACK!!
2. Get a few outfits.
3. Join an online organization like Couch Surfing
4. If you don't have an ID, get one.
5. Go to Manpower or another temp agency (search online) and get a temp job.
6. Save money from the temp job and get a full time job and your own place. 

 

You may also find free handout clothes from Criagslist freebees. Don't appear to be homeless and you won't be for long. I realize this is going to be very difficult, but if you really put an effort towards getting your life together than you will. There are alot of other detailed tips so, if you have further questions, you know where to ask. I hope this helps you out. Good Luck.

 

BTW, I don't know if your my size but I'll be dropping off 2 garbage bags worth of clothes to the JFK Salvation Army on Monday April 13, 2009. So, be sure to grab them before one of the other homeless people do.

 

Hey Ranj: I want your opinion on something. I own a home day care for preschool children, and almost every day I'm faced with the same question: When parents arrive to pick up their children and the kids begin misbehaving, who is responsible for correcting them -- their parents or me?

 

Two of the kids in particular turn into little monsters the minute their mothers arrive. These women have never once disciplined them in my presence. Should I give the bad children a "time-out" the next day? I need your advice because I don't want to overstep my bounds and I don't want to be accused of telling someone how to raise their kids. -- Day-care in Philadelphia 

 

Hey Day-care: Some parents let their children get away with murder. However, you are within your rights to let the children know that misbehaving will not be tolerated while they are at your house. If I were you I'd tell the kids' parents to do something about the situation. Explain to them that they behave well when the parents are not around and then they think they can do as they wish when the parents arrive. It is the parents responsibility when the parents are there. Waiting until the next day is too late to punish them. The parents should scold and punish them right away. It's your  responsibility to inform the parents that they need to discipline their children a little harsher. If you explain this in a sensitive manner, I'm sure the parents will understand and make some changes in how they discipline their children. Perhaps you can give them a few pointers if they aren't sure how to handle their little monsters.

Hey Ranj: I am a 34-year-old female. I have been dating this guy I'll call "Frank" for more than two years. He never told me he had anyone else. But one day he let it slip that he had been living with this woman, "Shelly," for more than 5 years.

I'm not the type to break up a home. Had I known, I never would have dated him. By the time I found out, I was in love with Frank, and he said he felt the same about me.

I never knew exactly where Frank lived or had his home phone number, but I did have his cell phone number. Whenever I'd call, it was either turned off or he wouldn't answer. Finally, I called information and got his home number, but I have never used it.

Now, two years later, we have a child together. None of his family members know about our little girl. He says he does not want anyone to know right now -- especially Shelly. He says she would leave him, take half his belongings and sue him for alimony.

He has given me less than $360 in child support since I gave birth. Frank says if I sue him for child support, things will get nasty. He says he will make my life a living hell. I hardly ever see him anymore. What is a woman supposed to do? I think he's afraid of Shelly. I want to sue him for child support, and I have the papers filled out and sealed, but haven't mailed them yet for fear of what Frank might do. Please help me. -- Distraught in Exton, NJ

 

 

Hey Distraught: Frankly my dear, Frank is a deadbeat dad and you should tell his wife, Shelly, (and it IS his wife) everything. It's not fair to you or your daughter to keep her a secret. You should have suspected that Frank was married before having a child with him. There were many flashing red lights in your romance -- the first ones being that you didn't know where he lived and his unwillingness to give you a working phone number. That's when you should have refused to become further involved.

 

Mail those papers you filled out to the court RIGHT NOW. Do it for your little girl, because it's the only way her deadbeat dad will recognize and be responsible for her. Do not be afraid of Frank making you life a living hell because you can easily get a restraining order. You should consult a lawyer about his threats and make sure to report them to the authorities anyway. During this entire time he has thought only about himself. Frank gives good fathers and men a bad name. He doesn't deserve any leiniency. You should have told Shelly long ago. Now send those papers and get ready to take his deadbeat ass to court.

To keep my word that I would post at least one thing a day, I found this compilation of tattoos.

Dog Day Afternoon. This guy is his own best friend.